This is my grave this is my gate
this is a gun to my head
This is my long walk home from hell
This is my death bed
Put me in the ground and send my flesh to hell
A casket for this skin that's plagued in filth
This is my life
I will live it to the fullest, just try and stop me
I'm not wasting my time
I've been given a purpose, I will not let it die
I will not change for you, that doesn't mean that I'm not changing
I'm growing into the man that I was born to be
I'm chasing my dreams
I am living
I follow my convictions
This is my passion
9-5 never cut it for me this is life and I intend on living
You can try to say I'm wasting my time but just because
I'm not you doesn't mean that you're right
I am convinced
We're so consumed with life, we've forgotten how to live
Don't hold me back
Cause I am trying to live my life the way I should
It won't make sense to you
And I doubt it ever could
This is the path for me, the only one I've ever known
And even if you're not by my side I am never alone
When will you see that this is the life for me
I will not conform to your way of living
You've made your bed so you could dream
But I've turned my dreams into reality
I am not alone
We are alive, and we will not be stopped
I am not alone
We are alive, and we will not be stopped
Let's go back, back to the days
when I was young, when I was just a child
Before everything got tough and life was care free
I wish I could take you there,
back to the good old days. What happened to our family?
Now I am afraid that things won't ever be the same
If I could be half the man that you are
I'd have no fear in me at all
If I could be half the man that you are
I'd be just fine and be filled with strength to stand tall
You've shown me how to be a man
There will never come a time when I am done learning
I just want to make you proud of me
It breaks my heart when I see you hurting,
I just want to you to be healed
I will never stop praying for restoration
You've poured your life out for me and my brothers alike
It's honor to call you father and to have been raised by your side
I wish that I could change things for you
Give back to the man who's given everything
I wish that I could change things for you
And show you how much you mean to me
You've shown me how to be a man
If I could take away your pain, I swear I'd give you my heart
You given everything I could ask for nothing more
hat have you gotten yourself into now?
Living behind bars you've thrown away your crown.
Brother is a funny word for someone like you
but the blood that's in my veins is in your
veins and I swear I'll pull you through
Look at this life you threw away do you even
know what it's worth?
When I look into your eyes
I can see all the pain, I can see all the hurt
You've run away before but you don't know what
you're running from.
You're going in circles back to where you begun.
If you could see through your eyes without
the glaze and without the high
you would see that it killed me watching you die.
I watched you die
And now we can't ever go back to the days
when you were the only one that
kept my head on straight
This is what family is for
Don't you forget that I will stand by you to the grave
This is what family is for
Oh brave climber (oh, brave climber)
has this mountain conquered you?
Or will you find the strength to
live the life that God intended you to lead?
Do you remember (do you remember)
that I still look up to you?
And I will be your strength till
there is nothing left in me.
(2nd time= "please remember")
Brother I swear I'll pull you through
This is not the end of you
Was heaven not enough, you had to dive into hell?
I know you're searching for a cure but God is not in that needle
Was heaven not enough for you?
So here we are again, miles apart
because I'm stuck in this depression that
feels like possession because the progression
of my transgressions led to an
obsession with digression.
So here is my confession.
I don't grow I just regress
Cause I've got this heart full of regret
And the pain keeps seeping in
Now my foundation is a mess Cause when
I sit inside this house it never feels
like it's my home.
I am crashing and I am sinking
and I don't wanna go down alone.
So speak to me
I'm sick of talking to these walls. Can you even hear me?
What if I said I don't believe in you?
Would we at least be making progress?
You said luke-warm and you would spit me out
Well I tried to be on fire, but these waves have snuffed me out
I'm washed up on this stage screaming at
the heavens up above me.
I'm weak and unashamed cause I've got nothing left to lose
If this is what it takes to be alive
then I'll scream until my heart is beating
I'm afraid to die,
cause I know I'm so far away from you
It's not that I'm lost, it's just
that I can't seem to find the strength
to carry on, to carry on one more day.
I know the way, it's been engraved in my head.
But what was supposed to make me alive has
left me feeling dead.
It's time to come clean so here is the honest
truth. I've let my emotion take the place of you.
Give it time give it time.
I've heard it all before.
But I've been waiting for so long.
Give me something more than an unbelieving
heart and malcontent.
I'm desperate for the strength
to say "I was born for this"
When did emotion become my reality?
I've tried and I've tried to be
the man that you made me to be.
My flesh is weary and my spirit is dead,
I've got so many questions,
get them out of my head!
Where were you when my walls came crashing in?
Where were you when she walked away
never to come back again? Were you
asleep when my heart turned to
stone and sunk me into this sea?
Where were you? God, where are you?
Take me back to when I was young (take me back)
I want to feel alive again
I want to love you like I once did
Right by your side,
before you were birthed into this life.
I've been right here with open ears
Was I asleep?
I will never rest,
I will never rest until you know that I am
for you not against you and I will never let you go
I know, I know, I know that you are hurting
Just know, just know, just know I can feel your pain
I've been here the entire time
With open arms screaming out your name
I never wanted it to be like this
But you have to understand
I've got you right in the palm of my hands
Run to me with your broken legs
I'll take your mangled
bones and teach you how to stand
I look back, I look back on all the things
you've seen and it breaks my heart
But don't forget,
don't forget your pain was nailed to me
Lay your burdens down at the foot the cross
When you run away I will chase you
In your darkest days you cannot hide from me
I can see in the dark
I can see in the dark
I can see in the dark
I can see in the dark, come back to me
I can see it in your eyes that your dead
But I can bring you back to life,
I can bring you back to life
I can see it in your eyes that your searching
I can be your light, I can be your light
Come back to me, I will set you free,
take away your shame and seat you among kings
Open your eyes, I'm right by your side
With outstretched hands screaming, "here am I!"
I'm sick,
so sick of this complacency and the apathy of my heart
Im stuck with paralytic tendencies
This passivity has torn me apart
I am trying to find my way back home
But I've had a hard time with these dry and weary bones
I am a Pharisee by definition
Far too proud to admit when I am wrong
I am a plague to my own existence
I'm killing myself with this repetitious sin
I am a hypocrite!
Wash me clean I am so desperate to be free
Set me free
It's time I called you out
For all pain and death that you have caused
No more holding back
I've drawn my line I won't back down
This is the end of you
No longer a thorn in my side
This is the end of you
I'm taking back my life
Rid me of myself
Cycle endless cycle, when will my
hands be clean when will I be set free
I've been asleep all these years
with open eyes it's time I wake up
And separate myself from all this pain
You and I are not the same
Im sick of always feeling like I'm weak
God, set me free
So here we are, me myself and
I but your voice is in my head
I've got nothing left to lose
cause I'm already dead
God, put me to sleep.
Put me to sleep, oh God.
Put me to sleep.
Put an end to my depravity.
And at the end of it all I
look back on everything that have made me fall
Now there's only one thing left to say
This is my life... And this time I choose to walk away
This place is not my home,
it wasn’t ever meant to be.
I’m still searching. I’m still searching.
I’ve been held back, I’ve been shut down but I am not dead yet.
I’m still swinging and I’m still holding on to hope.
I’ve been clinging to the edge with just my
fingertips and I’ve been praying to God,
don’t let me lose my grip.
I will not fall. I will never compromise my faith.
I’m holding firmly to the truth and I will not back down.
This life has drained me dry and though
my flesh is weak and broken my soul will never die.
I will not settle for what this world has.
I’ve danced with the devil in hell and I will not go back.
I’ve found myself in the one who calls me son.
Take me home, God, let your kingdom come.
This place is not my home I was born for the less traveled road.
I’ve got a lot of growing left to do
but I swear that I will see this through.
I’ve felt the weight of the world crash down on me.
I’ve been to hell and back and I’m still breathing
I’ve screamed my lungs out and
displayed my flaws but I find rest in the arms of God.
No roots no place to call home.
I’m a wanderer, vagabond; I’m bread for the road.
No roots no place to call home.
I’m a wanderer, vagabond, sustained by God alone
If this is life that I'm
living then I wonder what death is like.
With a million questions running, I've got the feeling
hat something is not right
I've tried to be alive, but I've fallen short
I am so sick of this cycle, there must be something more
This is endless
This is sickening
This is everything I never wanted it to be
This is hell
This can't be happening
I'm a failure, I'm a liar, I'm a hypocrite
I am not who I claim to be
What could you possibly see in me?
I could never turn my back on you
Grace like an ocean, I am lost in the depths of your truth
You have seen my heart and the wicked things I've done
And yet you call me "son"
This is my awakening, and my call to arms
Show me this world through the holes in your hands
I'm alive, I'm alive, I have been set free
I was blind but now my eyes are open, I can see I am flawed,
I am flawed, but You have made me clean
I know I'm not perfect but I serve a perfect king
I am nothing
You are everything
Let this truth resonate in my soul
Take my life God, I give you control I have stumbled,
I have fallen,
I've grown weary,
and yet I'm still walking
I've been stuck here with all these questions inside my head
But I will never forget the words that you have said
"You are the child of the king you have been set free.
There is nothing that can separate you from me.
I am the one that calls you son,
I formed you in the womb,
I conquered the grave,
your home is not a tomb."
God this just can't be,
I'm so unworthy but your grace has
washed me clean and now I'm learning
that you’re changing everything and I
am not the same, you made everything change...
When you called my name my heart
stopped and our pulse became the same
When you calmed my soul
felt the earth shake and the mountains tremble
When you called my name I finally came alive again
When you call me son,
I feel your blood in my veins and your breath in my lungs
When you call my name
What can wash away my sin?
Nothing but the blood of Jesus;
What can make me whole again?
Nothing but the blood of Jesus.
Oh! precious is the flow
That makes me white as snow;
No other fount I know,
Nothing but the blood of Jesus.
For my pardon, this I see,
Nothing but the blood of Jesus;
For my cleansing this my plea,
Nothing but the blood of Jesus.
Nothing can for sin atone,
Nothing but the blood of Jesus;
Naught of good that I have done,
Nothing but the blood of Jesus.
This is all my hope and peace,
Nothing but the blood of Jesus;
This is all my righteousness,
Nothing but the blood of Jesus.
Now by this I’ll overcome
Nothing but the blood of Jesus,
Now by this I’ll reach my home
Nothing but the blood of Jesus.
Glory! Glory! This I sing—
Nothing but the blood of Jesus,
All my praise for this I bring
Nothing but the blood of Jesu
Truth is an unshakeable doctrine
One undefiled from the world and it’s corruption
You may not believe like me one day every eye will see that…
God is not dead nor does he sleep
Check the facts and purge the lies
There is truth out there to find
We’re all just digging graves when
we trust the words of blind guides
You’ve made your own religion
With yourself as your god
We’ve forgotten the truth and forged it into a lie
We’ve forgotten about God
Did you hang the stars in the sky?
Can you add a single day to your life?
Was it your hands that formed this place?
And did your words separate the night from the day?
I know that truth is not based on just what we see
There is more to all of this
I know that truth is not based on just what we see
And I’m not afraid to say what I need to
There is more to all of this
There is no excuse or reason to believe all these lies
Check the facts; seek the truth and open up your eyes
I’m not brainwashed and I don’t
believe everything that I see
We’re saturated with lies,
ignorance and blasphemy
You have every right to believe what you choose
But there is one God, there is one way,
there is only one truth
There is one God
There is one way
There is one truth
I’m not shoving it down your throat
but I’d take a bullet if it means this gets to you
Blind guides
Throw off your scales and open up your eyes
Blind guides
Come back home the door is open wide
I’m sick of holding back and
biting my tongue when I look around
There is a change to be made and it’s not change gonna change itself
Who do we think that we are?
We’ve got our hands tied behind our backs
We cannot be the change that we wish to see on our own
I’m tired of running scared from everything
It’s time we pick our heads up and be the change
These shackles do not have a hold on you or me
So why are you afraid when you’ve already been set free?
Back against the wall where did your spine go?
I can’t just turn my back on everything
My mind was freed when I opened my spirit to the king
Are you free now?
Fear of man or fear of yourself
What are you afraid of?
Are you free now?
Leader, overcome!
Head up, you are not alone
Leader, overcome!
Eyes up, you’re not on your own
I’ve been down this road before
I’ve felt the pain and the doubt of this broken world
I’ve been down this road too many times
I can’t just sit back and let you die
I’ve watched my mother and my brother fight their demons on their own
And though there’s pain I found strength in this broken home
I will never turn my back on you
(So I hope you’ll fight this with me)
Fists clenched and now we’re swinging
Fight off your demons with everything you’ve
got till your knuckles are bleeding
This is life or death so just keep swinging
Fight off your demons
Fight off your demons
Are you free now?
[feat. Brother Friend]
Staring down this barrel
Our silence breeds death
Speak up; speak out
Resurrect
Dry bones with potential of life
But we mime to an audience blind
(Pull the pin)
No concern for the lost of this world
We shut our mouths as we walk on by
Will you be the one to break the silence?
And not settle for positivity just to spare an offense
Do not hesitate to speak
Life is caged only by teeth
Do not hesitate to speak
Life is what this world needs
Four winds fill these sails and propel us down this sea
Give us the breath of life; give us words to speak
Death is equal to life when life is unmentioned
Point the barrel pull the trigger
just like keeping your mouth shut
Resurrection; resurrection
Use your words, use your actions, use whatever it takes
We are ambassadors of life; boldly proclaim
It has been so much longer than 4 days,
what are you waiting for?
You can already smell the flesh decomposing,
what more motivation do you need?
Life starts at the tip of your teeth,
like an ocean growing from your throat,
a hydrant to the seed, a water warrior with a
plowshare sword commanding willows
from concrete! Discover new ways of self harm,
cut yourself to the core,
separate the goats from the sheep!
Your fear of man is a cop-out,
it has nothing do with what you perceive others to see.
Your tongue is a rudder, but you lack
passion for the sea.
So what comes out is drought
soaking moisture from dessert air,
hanging dry,
your bones and the tome of life
from which you refuse to speak,
becomes your condemning tomb.
So I ask, "In whom do you believe?"
Come forth
No longer dry bones
Come forth
Breath of life fill these lungs
Come forth
Lost in the lust and pull of
the desires of my eyes
It starts a fire in my skin
And burns it's way into my heart
This sin tore us apart
And now it's too late to go back
Cause I lost track of all the love that I said we shared
It's like smoke and mirrors
I don't know my heart
I don't know my plans
Everything has fallen apart
God save this wretched man
I have fallen apart and I can’t free myself
I can’t let go
I have fallen apart and I can’t free myself
Who will save me now?
There must be something wrong with me
Every time I try it’s like I’m digging my own grave
It’s like there’s poison in my veins
Every time I think I’m getting closer to break through
I make the same mistakes
I've been chasing the wind
I’ve been playing god
replaced these gifts with efforts
How did I end up like this?
I used to be passionate
I used to have conviction flowing through my veins
I used to be in love with you
God, you must be so disappointed in me
My knuckles are callused and stained with your blood
God save this wretched man
I must have worn out your patience by now
This has become my hell
I swear to God something is wrong with me
Cause I can’t breath; feels like I’m suffocating
I know it’s not just the snake around my neck
But these hands that pushed the nails into your flesh
God these hands have pulled the apple from the tree
And I've been striving for atonement but it's just out of reach
This whole time I thought I was living in your name
Hands to the plow? I was digging my own grave
I've been trying, I've been trying to somehow earn your grace
I've been lying, I've been lying; wearing masks to hide my face
I've been thinking to myself, does this cycle ever end?
I've been falling short and burning out; your patience must be thin
Have I worn out your patience yet?
[feat. Brother Friend]
O little man, what know you of our patience?
Talk to us about time as if you know I AM, the one who made it
Talk to us about pain as if you know I AM, the one who laid it
All down for you at the crown of the place, stripped of its flesh,
The hill without a face, to give you a foundation of mercy
To carve into your hands, valleys for our grace.
We can see that you are hurting,
Suffocating in your tightly woven mask.
It’s enough to keep you breathing, but not near enough to last
If you keep asking all these questions
One of you will die of asphyxiation
You lead a double life, and only do half the living.
We said to be like Christ, you cannot be like the trinity.
Of a single mind, yet thrice, you've not uncovered that mystery
Only we can be three in one without anything spilling
Where we do not absolutely intend it to be.
So have you started reaching for the ties behind your head?
Or do your fingers fumble scratching your eyes out instead?
Have you learned nothing? O man, listen to what we said!
Trade your trying for trusting, and let us do the rest.
And just so you know we intend to spill all over creation
But for some reason you are not making the connection
That includes you
Which of our actions has ever led you to believe
Our intentions are to exclude?
What makes you think that we exude anything other
than unmerited favor toward the entirety of your endeavors?
Historically, when have we ever proved to be anything less
than your forever victorious Savior?
Was it the beginning when we made man in our likeness?
Or on the ark of Noah when we saved you from the torrents?
Perhaps it was when we promised the land of milk and honey?
Or delivered you from your enemies and closed on them, the sea?
And you ask for your chains back! You have loved a new slavery!
No matter how much you nag, we will not place you on that tree!
You cannot sacrifice your words and acts!
You cannot convince us of your piety!
You can be still, relax, let us sing to you our poetry.
We could speak in the way you ask,
but what would you hear more audibly?
Have you started reaching for the ties behind your head?
Or do your fingers fumble scratching your eyes out instead?
Have you learned nothing? O man, listen to what we said!
Trade your trying for trusting, and let us do the rest.
I will condescend my finger tip
To graciously fold your hip
You have fought for long enough
I see your seam starting to rip
Let me cut the strings for you strung
Stretching from the corners of your lips
And separate the plastic grafted
To your cheeks, ears, nose, and chin
It will hurt at first, but trust me,
Your flesh must be stripped
Be ready with the oil
and keep your lamp wick well trimmed
Wait for me eagerly, I will send the second skin
You knot this thing thoroughly,
But it is not a match for the One who
will undo all the damage that you did
He will take the hewn with open wounds and
sew your folds back into Him
Your tattered attempts to mend the holes
will soon hold inside the hem of his robe
made white by his life,
red in his death,
whole at moment I chose to resurrect,
then yours the second you accept
that I want nothing less than the best
for all my elect.
I have the authority to command
and the power to affect,
The strength to defend,
The compassion to protect
You work futility to its end
And forsake the day of rest
But when you grow tired again
I will be there to help you unforget...
It's my hands that formed you out of clay
(It’s your hands that formed me from the clay)
It's my hands that lavish you with love and grace
(Those same hands are filled with love and grace)
My hands were held by nails to the tree
(It’s your hands held by nails up on that tree)
It's my hands that will bring you back to me
(Those same hands are reaching toward me)
Comfortable and poised
We sit on our thrones, we sit on our hands and we let them die
We’re all too blind, we’re blinded by our American eyes
I will not, I will not be idle
(Stretch out your hands)
Living in a new perspective
Everything I once held close I count it all as lost
What is life lived selfishly when nothing goes with me?
Hollow and empty.
My hands cling far too tight to the things of this life,
I’m finally letting go
What is life lived selfishly?
Rip out my eyes cause I don’t see right
Selfish and blind to my pride I am my own disease
Hollow and empty
I can take nothing with me
Hollow and empty
I’ve served myself and hordes the rest
Life is more fulfilling when you put yourself last
I have learned this the hard way all of my life
I’ve been given more than enough its time I give back
Servant of all
Idle hands murder the helpless
Let these words end the silence
Stretch out your hands
I never wanted to come to this
End my pride and my selfishness
I will not, I will not be idle
(I refuse, I refuse)
Living in a new perspective
Everything I once held close I count it all as lost
What is life lived selfishly when nothing goes with me?
Hollow and empty.
My hands cling far too tight to the things of this life,
I’m finally letting go
[feat. Landon Tewers]
I know this has come back to me
I opened the doors that have led me here
Face to face with the devil
I've been fighting these demons for the last few years
I’ve grown weary
Struck down and worn out
Turn the page once more
I placed myself here
I let them lead me to the slaughter
Step by step into this living hell
I let them slide the noose around my neck
When they chained me I sat still
Dancing with the devil I am plagued with disease
Fill my veins with your blood, spark my pulse into a beat
Purge this poison from my veins
I’m calling them out
Every demon that I’ve faced,
every devil that’s held me down
I'll spew you because I’m tired of being warm
And my home is not this storm
I’m through with you
No more darkness, no more shame
Turn on the lights, give you no place to remain
Your hold on me is no longer here
“Have you forgotten that I dwell
in the depths of your dark and filthy heart?
I did not merely force my way in,
I found an open door.
I left and came back to discover your hollow veins,
so I made my home. I know everything about you,
I know everything about you.
I know
your secrets and the things you
do when you think your alone.
I live in the shadows you create;
you’ve made this place into my home.”
I let them lead me to the slaughter
Step by step into this living hell
But as I cry out to my Father
My strength begins to swell
Your lies are replaced with the truth
This heart was never mine to give
I may have opened the doors
But now I choose to live
Dancing with the devil I’ve been plagued with disease
You’ve filled my veins with your blood,
sparked my pulse into a beat
Bind the host, shine your light,
give them no places to hide
Go to hell, dark passenger
Back to where you came from
Go to hell, dark passenger
I stand with heaven as a child of the king
Go to hell.
You can gauge out my eyes
But I’ve already seen enough to last a life time
You can cut off my hands
But I'm a thief at heart and I know I'll steal again
No more innuendos
No more hiding my face
The truth is that I keep looking at
your daughters the wrong way
Sever my flesh from me
I can’t stop tossing and turning
Reliving the regrets that I can’t seem to forget
Wipe the slate clean; I want to be set free
I believed a lie; this is not me
My fantasies are built on things I was never meant to see
I’ve turned into the man that I was never meant to be
God knows I tried but the devil whispered
lies and I believed; I believed
(This is not me)
I believed a lie
I believed a lie
My flesh knows the way back to her door
And no matter how strong my heart
is I keep going back for more
Going back for more
I believed a lie
Replace these lies with the truth
I want to see the right way
Replace these lies with the truth
I am not my mistakes
I am not my mistakes
[feat. Trevor Bartlet]
You've gone too far now
I saw the tide swell
Violent, pulling at your feet
Now the currents pulling you under
I watched you sink
Past the point of turning back
No sense of direction
No evidence of conviction
I can see through your masks
I see the pain that you feel
Was your faith ever real?
Because I swear it was
What made you turn your back on the God
who was so present in your past
Where are your monuments?
Where are all your reminders?
How could you forget what he has done?
I wish I could understand
And take away what's caused you pain
If I could I would bear it myself
I would remove what made you hurt
Let it burn in hell
If I could I would take your place
I would carry your burdens
All the way to my grave
You are not alone
And you never were
You uprooted from the soil you once knew
And sought growth in the thorns
No roots will survive in the shallows
Now you're drowning in scorn
It's not my goal to cure you
I'm far too weak to do that on my own
But with everything I am I will do my
best to point you back home
Hear the call
I want you to know that I'm right here
I want you to know I'm not going anywhere
(I want you to know you're not alone)
I will never give up, I will never stop
I will fight for you even with nothing left
So never give up, and never give in
When you fall down I will pick you up again
It breaks my heart to see you like this
Here you are
No strength to stand
You gave up everything
You let go of his hand
(When you let go of his hand)
Here the call
I’ll shrink myself so that
everyone can see
Past the doubt and know that
this is not about me
I was born into a world of sin in a universe of grace
All my struggles have been shaping and changing me
And reforming my face
I don’t want to be a better version of me
Just to feed my vanity
Change my name to the one that conquers graves
Make me more like you
I am nothing without grace
(Flowing through my veins)
I am nothing without grace
Everything I have has been given to me
My path has not led me here to exalt my own name
If I put myself on the pedestal this
will have all been in vain
I’ve got a novels worth of testimony
infused within these notes
And I’ll spill my guts until the day I
die just to bring an ounce of hope
This is not about me
This is not about mev
No man can ever attain to the power of
the cross; the name above all names
There’s a lot for me to learn and I don’t
have all the answers
But I know enough to know that I am only
here because he conquered death
I know there’s beauty in the desert and
there’s glory in the storm
So I’ll keep my hands stretched to the sky
and wait for the son to make me warm
I am nothing without grace
(Flowing through my veins)
I am nothing without grace
Everything I have has been given to me