When Charles Caleb Colton wrote that ‘imitation is the sincerest [form] of flattery’, it has never been more true than when used to explain Jarrod Alonge’s Beating A Dead Horse. Written in six months on the back of an extremely successful IndieGoGo campaign, Beating A Dead Horse has managed something that many albums struggle to accomplish – originality. Now this statement may sound off if you know anything about this album or anything about its creator, but in demonstrating his love for what he parodies Jarrod has created something worthy of the scenes praise. Best known for his YouTube channel and amassing a sizable following through his ‘Every _____ Vocalist’ series, Jarrod offered something new to the community, affectionate satire. And that’s what we get with this album. Coming from a place of love, Jarrod in knowing the intricate nuances of the scene, bring a great sense of relief to the community and provides an opportunity for fans to view their scene from a comedic angle.
Comprised of 15 songs that parody common themes found within genres like pop-punk, metal-core, djent and hardcore, the songs of this album are ‘performed’ by seven different fictitious bands. Namely, ‘Amidst The Graves Demons’ that parody metal-core bands such as Memphis May Fire, The Color Moral, The Devil Wears Prada and Of Mice and Men; ‘Sunrise Skater Kids’ that rip on pop-punk bands like Neck Deep and Chunk! No, Captain Chunk!; ’Chewed Up’ that represents melodic hardcore bands like Counterparts and Stick To Your Guns; ‘Vermicide Violence’ that plays on the death-core tropes of Suicide Silence, Winds of Plague and Chelsea Grin; ‘Canadian Softball’ that offers a playful take on midwestern emo bands like American Football, Pedro the Lion and La Dispute; ‘Swag Chode’ which parodies crunk-core bands such as Breathe Carolina and Brokencyde; and, ‘Rectangles’, a progressive djent band that pokes fun at bands like Tesseract, The Contortionist, Structures and Drewsif Stalin’s Musical Endeavors.
Although Beating A Dead Horse is without a doubt a comedy album designed to resonate with genuine fans of the music, it is important to note that this fact does not cheapen what has been delivered. In fact, every song is very well thought out and the musicianship and production are outstanding, even featuring the voices and instrumentation of Cody Carson (Set It Off), Jared Dines (Dissimulator), Mattie Montgomery (For Today) and Mike Semesky (ex-Intervals). Coming from a genuine insider, Beating A Dead Horse mimics and magnifies the conventions of the genres with such accuracy and skill that the songs are even able to stand on their own merits outside of parody status.
Serving as an introduction to the album, ‘The Swimmer’ is a direct parody of Memphis May fire’s early years on the scene. Any fan of the band would be able to tell you that one of the main things that made the early releases of their self-titled EP and ‘Sleepwalking’ stand out was the bands obvious southern influences. Using this recognisable fact, Jarrod cleverly introduces humor to the parody by exaggerating the cowbells to the point of absurdity whilst making a tasteful comment on metal-core tropes from the 2007 to the 2010 period. With this first song, ‘The Swimmer successfully lays down a solid modus operandi for the rest of the album.
Moving on to what could be described as the most standout songs on the album, as judged by online reception, ‘Sunrise Skater Kids’ delivers a genius level takedown of the pop-punk genre. Beginning with the song ‘Love Me Back’ Jarrod describes the common pop-punk song scenario of a boy that likes a girl from a distance, think Bowling for Soup’s ‘Girl All The Bad Guys Want’ or Neck Deep’s ‘Crushing Grief (No Remedy)’, and reveals just how creepy these types of song really are. With lyrics like ‘Hey, you’re the one for me I’ll kill anyone who gets in my way’ and ‘Lock picks aren’t cheap I watch you while you sleep’, ‘Sunrise Skater Kids’ successfully puts a mirror to the genre. Yet, Jarrod does it in such a way that you cannot help but sing along.
The hardcore game on this album is also pretty strong. Delivered through the guise of ‘Chewed Up’ Jarrod makes a strong comment on how some bands try to come off as being ‘hard’ while generally coming from loving middle-class backgrounds. Nice touch to the song ‘Unbreakable’ can be seen when Jarrod answers the common criticism that comes from outside the scene ‘doesn’t singing like that hurt your throat?’ when he drops the line ‘Get me a cough drop’ just as the breakdown begins. Next up is the deathcore outfit ‘Vermicide Violence’ which drops a grotesque and visceral track that offers a comical look at the gory lyrics of bands like Suicide Silence and Whitechapel. I promise you, you will not find a more intense description of someone digesting a hot pocket. Ever.
In most of the reviews that I have read, ‘Rectangles’ tend to be regarded as a throwaway aspect of this album, with most regarding Djent as a forgettable aspect of metalcore. I however, cannot get enough of ‘Cosmic Metaphysical Verisimilitude’. For me, I regard this song to be the standout song of the album. Captured from the opening atmospheric single note run reminiscent of Tesseract’s ‘Acceptance (Concealing Fate Part One)’, I love how evident it is that Jarrod truly understands the genre. With lyrics based in random mathematical and scientific statements like ‘calculating infinite particles, awaken to the gravitational entropy’ and ‘Hypothetical exegetical consciousness’, ‘Rectangles’ couple progressive and unpredictable instrumentation with lyrics that only really make sense on a macro level.
Finally, it would be a crime to end this review without mentioning the track ‘Hey Jarrod, What’s That Song Again?’ a rip on The Devil Wears Prada’s ‘Hey John, What’s your Name Again’, Jarrod slaps the listener round the face with a heavy dose of nostalgia. In this song, ‘Amidst The Graves Demons’ creates a medley featuring only the most recognisable aspects of metalcore hits from bands like The Devil Wears Prada, Underoath, Asking Alexandria, Of Mice and Men, A Day to Remember, Issues, Motionless In White, Escape the Fate and Alesana. Yet, the most beautiful aspect of this song is that it uses the musical stylings of the aforementioned bands to explain how he is actively disrespecting copywrite laws to steal their songs in order to make himself rich. Its just brilliant.
In all honestly, if you are reading this review just go buy this album. From the first song to the last its blatantly clear that Beating a Dead Horse is just dripping with genius, this album is easily greater than its intentions.
A review by Matthew Young